A Liberal, Democratic, Capitalist, (Quasi-) Holistic, Human Rights consistent and Courageous approach to Development

Besides violence and warfare, what is the greatest problem that we face as a species? I might accept nuclear destruction as an answer, although that could arguably fall under the category of warfare. Forget all that bullshit about global warming. If we are lucky we can reduce C0₂ levels to 1990 levels with a mixture of unprecedented levels of personal and political sacrifice, and diplomatic cooperation (never mind the fact that China and India who won’t agree to anything anyways).

Even if we can limit ourselves to this (still) unacceptably high level of emissions; temperatures will continue to increase (hopefully at a lower rate) and this slowdown of the temperature increase will kick in thirty years from now, by 2040. The only way this problem gets solved is through nuclear power and electric cars, which will still cause their own environmental problems.

Thank god that Prince Charles, the Vatican and Brangelina are doing their part. For my part, I am learning how to sleep with the lights off even though I am afraid of the dark, plus I am going on a 30-city global environmental promotional tour on a bio-fuel powered jet to discuss all my generosity and my work on behalf of the environment (forget UN Best-Practices just listen to me). Please keep an eye out for my forthcoming book “How I saved the earth with a multimillion dollar home and a private jet” and the movie of the same name.

While we are on the subject, I am so glad that Al Gore has won the Nobel peace prize. He will be joining some exceptional and elite company such as the ILO and Henry Kissinger. I am doing my part by illegally and secretly bombing Cambodia.

I am sure that Mahatma Gandhi was happy just to be nominated. I am telling you this guy is the original gangster. A train riding, vegetarian, feminist, pacifist who was born in the 19^th century; I can scarcely believe this person existed. Shit this guy is doing more for global warming than Gore is. As we all know, the methane from cow farts warms the globe more than cars do (It could be that Hinduism and a diet with red meat are equally dangerous for the environment. Again I am doing my part; today I walked to the Atwater market and tonight we are eating pork tenderloin (no Cows for this guy).

I guess that I have digressed but if there is bullshit (the things that politicians, academics and celebrities say) in the recipe, you shouldn’t expect your food to taste like lavender. Let’s get back to the point, as we have already solved the climate change crisis. The point is that development and poverty reduction is discussed in the same horse-shit nonsense type way as climate change. So let’s clear the smoke. How do we solve international poverty?

Do we need more generosity? Do we need to increase foreign aid to 0.7% of GDP? One world under Jeffery Sachs.

My favourite neo-conservative, the man who supported General Suharto until the end, Paul Wolfowitz would be rolling in his grave. As we all know, AID does not work when there is too much corruption. I love that argument. I don’t even know how to measure corruption. It is like saying that AID does not work if the citizens don’t believe in Jesus. So much ENDOGENEITY (I guess we need a VAR model), all I know is that AID only works in countries that were going to grow irrespective of the level of AID.

Greetings from earth, AID does not work, PERIOD. It can help people at the micro-level, but AID cannot cause growth. If you want to help individual people, just grab a DRC phonebook and start sending money to the Congolese through the mail (big up Easterly). The only problem with that strategy is that the people that really need help don’t have phone numbers and addresses. The other problem with mailing money to people in Africa (besides the bureaucratic loss to postal stamps) is that they still live in Africa and cannot escape violence, poverty and disease.

I always think that it is funny that it is against a person’s human rights to force them to stay in their poverty stricken and repressive country (please pick any South Asian, African, or Carribean nation). According to international law, states cannot force people to stay in their nation of birth. The funny part is that no other nation is required to let foreigners through their borders. It is illegal to force Haitians to stay in Haiti but it is perfectly legal to prevent Haitians from entering the Dominican Republic, Cuba or Canada or any other country. How can someone leave if they have nowhere to go (there is your Eastern Philosophy for the day)?

If the OECD countries are so liberal, why do we even have citizenship? Why do we have borders? What is so liberal about giving citizens their rights and denying those rights to non-citizens? If these nations were truly liberal or democratic there would be no such thing as citizens or borders. How can people be denied rights? Why do I need a work permit? Is this consistent with the UN Charter of Rights?

My proposition is for a gradual move from the Balkanized bullshit of 193 nation states to one world, one people, and one government. No more illiberal aristocratic nonsense. No more war, no more diplomacy and no more undemocratic foreign policy. I guarantee that “the Iraq” and “the Asian countries” would not have gotten invaded if we were all allowed to vote (Youtube: Miss South Carolina). Imagine if the people of Germany and Saudi Arabia (and the other 190 countries plus the United States) could have voted about the war in Iraq. We probably would not even have foreign (read Iranian, I am joking) forces in that country. I am not saying that we need to drop the borders immediately but we definitely need a plan and deadlines. We need a global democratic government, not some aristocratic diplomatic nonsense where land mines are illegal but cluster bombs are fair game.

We already have the solution. The solution is the European Union, well not the present European Union, but a European Union on Steroids (sorry Barry Bonds). We know that the European Union has done everything we would like to have done in other nations. Remittances, investment, trade, labour mobility, proper institutions and human rights protection, now all they need to do is to have true democracy à la ‘one person, one vote’ and the EU is laughing. The great thing about the European Union is that it is the first liberal, democratic imperial power where the colonized have the same rights as the colonizers (well once the Poles are allowed to work in Germany, and the Bulgarians too).

The European Union needs to continue expanding to the point where it will accept Serbia once it relinquishes control of Kosovo and Israel once it lets go of the Occupied Territories and they should also try to absorb North Africa as well. Moreover we immediately need a trilingual North American Union including Canada, the US, Mexico, Central America and the Caribbean. Once we have an Asian Union, an African Union (I mean a real African Union) and a South American Union then we can gradually get together and until we have a Global Union. Where the word ‘citizen’ is indistinguishable from the word ‘person’ (and maybe even prisoners could vote too, you know a civilization). I guess a truly civilized country probably would not even have prisons (but that is a discussion for another day). That is human rights consistent. Wealth comes from Rights, Freedom and the democratization of private and public services, not from OECD charity à la 0.7 % of GDP. Let people enrich themselves; let the convergence begin.

And then all we have to do is keep having sex until we all turn beige.

Movie of the Week: Darjeeling Limited and No Country for Old Men

Posted by John